Movie Review: THE IN-LAWS (1979)

I first saw this comedy gem back in the day when I was working at Rain City Video, and it has been a perennial favorite ever since. I won't give away the plot (which is delightfully ludicrous and should be discovered first-hand), but I will say that what brings me back again and again is the joy of watching Peter Falk and Alan Arkin play off each other for 90 minutes. These guys are so sharp, and so funny, you literally can't take your eyes off of them. (Apparently, the primary reason this movie even exists is that one of the producers wanted a project that would bring these two actors together.)
Arkin is all forced politeness and pent-up frustration, while Falk is laid-back and charming even in the most dire circumstances. (I also have to say that Peter Falk is, without question, a comedic genius. While many people may only know him from THE PRINCESS BRIDE and COLUMBO, the man is a legend for reasons apart from those august performances.) These guys are clearly having a ball working together, and we are lucky enough to go along for the ride. Do yourself and favor and check this one out--you won't be sorry.

Movie Review: WONDER BOYS

Well, they stayed remarkably true to the book (with minor excisions to keep the running time down), but for all its faithfulness this adaptation fell as flat as a pompadour in the rain.

I will be fair and say that adapting the book is not an easy task: although the plot of the novel is easily translated to the screen, the heart of the story is much trickier to get at. The book is narrated by the main character, which lets us into his mind and serves the story well. The movie is also narrated by the main character, which lets us into his mind and ruins the whole thing. A narrator on the page can say almost anything and the reader will go along with him; on the screen, however--out loud--the same words will come across as cliche and trite. (It doesn't help that every line of dialogue added by screenwriter Steve Kloves is cliche and trite.) Not only that, but the film is sentimental in a way that the book is not, and in the last ten minutes the pithy little life lessons come so fast and so sugary that I honestly thought I might puke.

Read the book, avoid the movie.

Book Review: THE FINAL SOLUTION

Another delightful Literary Yarn from Michael Chabon (although technically this is the first Literary Yarn, since GENTLEMEN OF THE ROAD was published later). Set in England in 1944, the novel centers around a stolen parrot, a mute Jewish refugee, and a world-renowned detective who comes out of retirement to reunite the two. It's a fast, fun read, and I love the fact that the famous detective is never actually named throughout the entire book.

As you may have noticed, I am on a Michael Chabon kick right now, and the thing that strikes me most about his writing is the manner in which he suits his language to the subject matter. In GENTLEMEN OF THE ROAD, the writing is eloquent and the language elaborate, giving the novel a sense of antiquity which befits a tale set hundreds of years ago. In WONDER BOYS, the style is contemporary and the syntax laid-back, just as one would expect from a story set in Pittsburgh in the mid-90's. And here in THE FINAL SOLUTION, Chabon writes in a manner which is exceedingly, well, British, for lack of a better description. It's not just that he uses British terminology--anyone could do that--it's that he adopts the polite distance so prevalent in British novels (or in Britain itself, for that matter). This guy is an amazing writer; I can't wait to start the next book.

Book Review: WEREWOLVES IN THEIR YOUTH

Beautifully
rendered
stories
about
profoundly
unhappy
people.

Movie Review: THE HURT LOCKER

There are three statements at the top of this movie poster, and I would like to address them one at a time, starting with the last one.

1."FEROCIOUSLY SUSPENSEFUL."
That's an understatement, folks. This movie is about bomb disposal technicians in Iraq, and the set pieces in the film are white-knuckle masterpieces. There is relatively little cinema trickery in the scenes where they are examining an IED or working the streets with rifles at the ready, they just put you in the heat and dust with the soldiers and let you feel the exhilarating terror of life or death decisions. These scenes are largely silent (dialogue-free, anyway) and absolutely riveting.

2."A FULL-TILT ACTION PICTURE."
This was clearly written by someone who only watched the preview, because this is not--nor is it intended to be--an action movie. The combat scenes are counterbalanced with scenes from the soldier's personal lives, and this, sadly, is where the movie falls to pieces. The narrative element is so melodramatic, overwrought, and overwritten that I wanted to punch myself in the face. Every time the story shifted away from the field, the movie bogged down like a scorpion under a wet towel (as the credits rolled I wondered aloud if the movie had been three or three-and-a-half hours; it was two). To be honest, I couldn't even tell you the narrative is about because it was so agonizingly painful to watch that my brain switched off in a desperate act of self-preservation.

3."A NEAR-PERFECT MOVIE."
Not even close, guys, for all of the reasons I mentioned above (and more, but why kick a dead horse). If it had been an hour and twenty-six minutes long and had only the loosest narrative thread to connect the men to one another (think THE THIN RED LINE), I would have agreed with this one. But as it stands? No way.

I will say, that for all its flaws, there are scenes in this movie that are absolutely astonishing, and worthy of acclaim: every single moment in the field; a scene between a soldier and a young Iraqi boy lingers in my memory; and for the rest of my life I will look at Capri Sun juice bags with a certain reverence. In the end, that is what makes this movie such a compelling frustration--it sticks with you, and you really want to see it again, but only if you have the ability to fast-forward.

Book Review: WONDER BOYS

I remember seeing the movie many years ago and wondering what the book was like, and I also remember wondering why people thought Katie Holmes belonged in the movies. I still wonder about that. Anyway, I was browsing at the library when I came across this one, and recalling my recent enjoyment of GENTLEMEN OF THE ROAD, I decided to give it a shot.

And I was not disappointed. Michael Chabon's second novel is a joy to read and funny as hell, and his characters are utterly compelling (although in this novel, very few of them are likeable). The story spins out over a single weekend, and it's hard to imagine how so much damage--emotional, physical, psychological, and automotive--can be crammed into such a short period of time. Grady Tripp, our narrator, is a self-involved, self-destructive pothead (who also teaches and writes), and as he carries us with him on his journey he lays waste to all those around him, especially those he purports to care about. He is a creep and an asshole, a rotten friend, and a lousy teacher.

But he is, after all, a human being, and that is what I loved about this book. Grady is no hero, for sure, but since we are privy to the workings of his mind, we get to see him trying to do the right thing from time to time, even if he screws it up royally. In fact, all of the characters are deeply flawed in one way or another, but they are also vibrant and alive and aggravating and confusing, just like the rest of us. Although I wouldn't want to spend any time with any of these people in real life, I was glad I got to hang out with them for a few hundred pages.

Music Review: TOM WAITS - ORPHANS: BRAWLERS, BAWLERS, AND BASTARDS

This 3-disc set was released in 2006, and it is a compilation of songs which were cut from (or never made it onto) his previous albums. While many releases of this variety (from other artists, that is) are just a dozen or so b-sides and outtakes, this set contains nearly 60 tracks, and not a one of them feels like an outtake or afterthought. Here's a little breakdown:


DISC 1: BRAWLERS
This disc is compiled of rock and blues tunes, and has a number of songs that have been played live many times, but never before appeared on an album. Highlights on this disc include "Lucinda," "Bottom of the World," "Walk Away," and "Lie To Me."

DISC 2: BAWLERS
As the title implies, this disc is composed mainly of ballads and slow numbers, many of which will break your heart. There are some great songs on this album ("Fannin Street" and "Long Way Home" are the standouts here), but this disc is the only one that feels like a bunch of songs, rather than an album. Now bear in mind that they are fantastic songs, but for me it doesn't have the cohesion of the other two discs.

DISC 3: BASTARDS
This is my favorite disc of the set, and is quickly becoming one of my favorite Waits albums. Peppered with spoken-word pieces (including the most depressing bedtime story of all time and a Twilight Zone-esque lecture on insects), some blues numbers, and even a sea shanty, the overall tone is best described as Unrelentingly Dark. Many of these songs feel like they were culled from BONE MACHINE, THE BLACK RIDER, and REAL GONE, but put together they create a potent--if sinister-collage. I love this one, and the last track on the disc ("Missing My Son") turns everything on its ear.

That's it for this morning, gang. I'm going to listen to Tom Waits on the way to work, go ye and do likewise.

Movie Review: QUARANTINE

The following is an imaginary re-creation of the meeting in which this movie was dreamed up.

Two young studio execs with bad haircuts and expensive suits sit on opposite sides of a very large conference table. They are tossing a Nerf football back and forth.

"Dude, remember that movie 28 Days Later?"

"Yeah dude, that movie was fucking awesome. Those zombie guys were scary as shit!"

"Hell yeah, they were. What about that one old movie, the one with the shaky camera--The Blair Witch Project?"

"Dude, that movie rocked my fucking balls, man."

"How about 12 Monkeys? Where that crazy asshole was trying to destroy the world with some weirdo virus?"

"Man, I don't watch that fucking art house shit!"

"Fucking A, dude, chill out! Hey, remember at the end of Silence of the Lambs, when that chick Starla was all green and shit cause' it was totally dark?"

"Dude, that scene was fucking CRAZY. I mean, fuck!"

They toss the ball in silence for a moment, then the younger one pauses mid-toss. He stares across the table.

"Dude, what if we took all that awesome shit and put it in ONE MOVIE?! That would be so, so fucking--dude!"

The other thinks about it, then grins.

"You are a genius, dude. High-fucking-five!"

Movie Review: LARS AND THE REAL GIRL

It's rare to find a movie where people are kind to one another, and even rarer to find a movie where people are beautiful to one another.

LARS is just such a rarity, a gem of a film whose outlandish premise (a lonely young man buys a love doll and treats it like a girlfriend) gives way to a surprisingly straightforward story full of genuine heart incredible tenderness. Ryan Gosling gives an astonishing performance as Lars, and the supporting cast is pitch-perfect (indie-queen Patricia Clarkson is as good as ever, and in my opinion Paul Schneider should have gotten a Best Supporting Actor nomination for his rich, understated performance as Lars' older brother Gus). In less capable hands, this movie could have ended up sickly-sweet and cartoonish, but as it stands, LARS AND THE REAL GIRL shows us how the most unusual things can bring out the best in people. Wonderful.

Movie Review: SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE

Damn.

The credits just finished rolling and here I am trying to write about it, and I am literally at a loss for words. This film moved me in so many ways, and worked so well, that I think I am not going to review it at all. My words would only cheapen the experience.

Go watch this movie. It's really damn good.

Book Review: GENTLEMEN OF THE ROAD

I read this delightful little morsel by Michael Chabon in two hours, and after I finished I decided that this book belongs to its own genre, the Literary Yarn. Following the adventures of two unlikely companions, this exuberant tale has all the swordplay and derring-do of an old dime novel, but is written with the style and linguistic acrobatics of a master wordsmith. I marveled at the manner in which Chabon took a sweeping epic and kept it to a mere 196 pages, but without making it feel condensed. (If anything, the book seems more expansive because of its brevity.) Full of wonderful characters that are beautifully rendered, I cannot recommend this one highly enough. A real charmer.

Book Review: GRIMUS

(Let me preface this by saying I feel very awkward about writing a blog-length review of a book by Salman Rushdie. His books generally require a minimum of ten pages to discuss, and that's if you just want to scratch the surface. But there it is.)

I have to say that as I read this book (Rushdie's first novel), I wondered if J.J. Abrams read the Cliffs Notes before he began production on LOST, dealing as it does with a mysterious island governed by mystical forces--an island that draws the chosen few to itself. The ostensible plot of GRIMUS deals with an Indian who is granted immortality, but after being robbed of the ability to choose death is forced to wander the earth for 777 years before coming to Calf Island, a mist-shrouded land populated by immortals. Searching for his sister and a manner of death, Flapping Eagle must come to terms not only with the nature of the universe, but the nature of his own soul.

But that's just the plot. The novel itself is really about The Big Ideas: free will, fate, destiny, control (and the illusory nature thereof), love, hate, life, death. Rushdie writes with confidence and strength, weaving philosophy and science-fiction together with linguistic and imaginative fireworks. His writing takes you into a headspace where anything is possible, and, based on the compelling eloquence of its rendering, highly probable. In the hands of a lesser writer, this novel could have been Philosophy 101 crammed between the lines of third-tier magical realism, but Rushdie never misses the balance between story and subtext, and the one always strengthens and supports the other. Masterful writing.

Although I found some of his later novels to be overly intricate and willfully convoluted (Hello, SHALIMAR THE CLOWN), this novel shows the promise that Rushdie would later fulfill with MIDNIGHT'S CHILDREN and THE SATANIC VERSES. If you have never read anything by this literary giant, GRIMUS is as good a place as any to start.

Movie Review: REDBELT

Dear David Mamet,
We know that people are crooked and that everyone plays both sides against the middle, and we know that a Man Of Honor is going to have a hard road ahead of him. How do we know this? Because it's the subject of everything you've ever done, and with the exception of HOUSE OF GAMES and GLENGARRY GLEN ROSS, it has made for excruciatingly bad cinema. And just so you know, sometimes human beings speak in complete sentences without repeating themselves. In the world, humans do this. They do this. In the world.

I can't decide which is the bigger waste: the 90 minutes I spent watching this, or the millions of dollars they spent making it.